In 2016, Danny and I started a tradition of gifting each other 4 items on Christmas: something to wear, something to read, something you want, and something you need.
SOMETHING YOU…
It’s officially the first day of winter! Here are five sweaters to heat up your closet this season. You can click on each image to go directly to the online store.
PRINTED – Anthropologie $98
TURTLENECK – H&M $34.99
CASHMERE – Anthropologie $148
TUNIC – Free People $128
MY VERY FAVORITE SWEATER – H&M $19.99
ENNEAGRAM AFFIRMATIONS
Emmanuel
Jesus was born in a manger and became Emmanuel— God with us. And then he was a toddler, a teen, and a twenty-something living a life that didn’t get written down until he turned thirty. Those years were quiet, but Emmanuel was here. God is with you in the waiting.
Party Time
Easy way to make the mundane more fun: consider it “party time.” Cranking through a to-do list? PARTY TIME. 3 Zoom meetings on a Thursday? PARTY TIME. Cleaning the kitchen? PARTY TIME. Waking up at 6:15? Change the alarm title to PARTY TIME.
Party time turns “I have to” into “I get to” and proves you don’t need candles and confetti to count it all joy.
Christmas Lists
I found these pieces of paper folded up in an old purse last week and am now left to imagine The Delia’s Catalog Energy I must have exuded walking through Kenwood Towne Centre on a Saturday in December without a chaperone. I made a list of gifts for people and a list of the stores I wanted to stop in (more than ½ are clearly shops for myself… and more than ½ no longer exist). But finding these lists spurred on some questions to consider as you wrap up (👀) your Christmas shopping:
💫 What do they love? What comes up often in your conversations?
💫 Do they value practical or sentimental? Experiences or decorations?
💫 What could you make* or buy them to help them feel seen and known this year?
💫 Is there a local spot that sells that item?
*It’s been a rough year and I think your loved ones will understand if you don’t have the typical funds to spend on gifts. Get creative! Write a heartfelt letter, craft coupons for quality time, paint ornaments, or make hot chocolate kits.
In step with the way this year has gone, Christmas still feels months away, but will be here before we know it. Here are a few ideas to help you figure out what to buy (or ask for) as you plan your holiday shopping list. Bonus! Everything I included is under $25.
How to Care for Your Grieving Friend
Before I became a member of The Worst Club of Women™ who have suffered pregnancy loss, I had several friends who miscarried. I always empathized with them, but never knew the extent of physical and emotional pain caused by a pregnancy loss until it happened to me. If you’re reading this, I hope you’re on the outside of the club and feel clueless about the specific feelings associated with miscarriage. And if you are, I’d like to offer some things to consider on how to best care for your friends as they join this club that no one wants to be part of.
The first thing that I want you to know is that miscarriage is not simply a terrible period or minor injury. It is the death of a person dreamt up and hoped for. No matter the point in time in which someone experiences a pregnancy loss, it can be heartbreaking and traumatic. I was once naive to think that a miscarriage, though sad, had a rather quick recovery time (emotionally and physically) because I had no idea what it entailed.
Selah, Pt. 3
The week before I miscarried, I stopped feeling nauseous. For the first ten weeks of my pregnancy, I felt mildly sick all the time. The thought of certain foods could make me gag, and in general, nothing sounded appetizing at all. But right around week 11, which in hindsight was the week before I miscarried, I felt fine. So fine that when friends asked how I was feeling I would say “I actually don’t feel nauseous at all anymore. I hope that’s a kind gift from God and not the sign of something bad, but I feel totally fine!”
Selah, Pt. 2
For weeks after our hospital visit, I cried.
I cried because we lost our first baby. I cried because it felt unfair that we waited twenty months to have to wade through (drown in?) this pain. I cried because the plans we were dreaming up in early January suddenly and without warning were cancelled. I cried because my husband experienced the same events in different ways, and I hurt for him, too. I cried because I couldn’t see a light at the end of the tunnel. I cried when I imagined opening myself up to the vulnerability of being pregnant again. I cried when I considered opening myself up to the vulnerability of talking to God about my hurt. I cried because there was life growing in me and then there was not. I cried out of anger at my body, which wasn’t doing what I always thought it was supposed to. I cried when we got a package of props I ordered for our announcement photo because it felt like a cruel reminder of what we no longer needed. I cried when I cleaned off my dresser and found the pregnancy test I had been saving for a memory book — now a memory of loss. I cried when friends dropped off flowers because the grace of God felt close. I cried when friends responded with thoughtful words. I cried when friends responded with honest words admitting they didn’t know what to say, but that they cared, because I believed them. I cried when friends who have been through the same thing responded with heartbreak because it hurt to know they knew the feelings. I cried over friends who didn’t respond at all. I cried when a friend stopped by to drop off bread just because — she didn’t know my news — and it was the first time I said “I had a miscarriage” out loud. One day I got in my car and I cried a lot. I cried because it was the only thing I felt I could do. I cried on the first day my life started to feel “normal” again: at the moment I realized I hadn’t cried at all that day. I cried during group prayer at a friend’s baby shower. I cried in the shower when I thought Danny couldn’t hear. I cried at times without knowing why I was crying.
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